Catching trout for dinner

Catching trout for dinner; Danes taking Leaf off their Census and the happy pastures of lost socks – Transformers has a great Humorous Speaking Contest and Impromptu Speaking Contest

Transformers Toastmasters Club had a full house for the annual Humorous Speaking Contest combined for the first time with the Impromptu Speaking Contest on Monday, 27 August. Three contestants braved the judge’s ballot sheets in each contest.

First up in the Humorous Speaking Contest was Rod Taylor or Cnut the Great Dame with an ingenious minister of finance, Leaf. Leaf found a way to “pluck the goose without killing it” and taxed both Saxon and Viking alike. Based on a national census Leaf knew everything about everyone, and when a Viking acquired goods though plunder he was charged a Viking Acquisition Tax. VAT has changed little in a 1000 years. Rod had many a great pun and twisted every bit of history until Leaf had to leave Britain and return to Denmark to marry his brother’s wife and so Cnut took Leaf off his census and headed into obscurity.

Next up Matthys Meintjes told us what he had learned about fish from a three day holiday to Dullstroom’s trout mecca. Promising his wife that she would not have to worry about supper, he set off to make a fool of himself and was instructed to go practice casting on the lawn in front of his bungalow for a day. No fish! Next he learned to think like a fish and headed off to buy the perfect lure. No fish! Finally he learned that fish are smarter than to be caught by a lure, stealth and silence are also a prerequisite. No fish! Three days and no fish for supper. The real lesson of the holiday was to always take the wife along or go without supper: she prepared steak, chicken and chops; no fish!

Last up in this contest was Mary Byrne with the tale of where all the lost items in a house go. Yes, they are conscious and resent the arbitrary uses that humans find for them and the neglect they suffer, so they contrive to find their way to sock nirvana, Tupperware meadows and teaspoon heaven. Paperclips evolve to coat hangers and these to shopping trolleys; metal has become plastic and with boomed suburbs shopping trolleys struggle to escape to trolley paradise and end up in ditches of desperation instead.

The result of this contest was fish one, socks two and Cnut took Leaf of his census; Matthys Meintjes winning first prize and going through to the Area Contest with Mary Byrne winning second prize.

The Impromptu Speaking Contest followed a hearty buffet of snacks. The word that was given to the contestants with which to make a 1 to 2 minute speech was “filter”. First up, Mary Byrne punted the super-oxygenated water for which her husband is designing the plant with suitable filtration, that provides oxygen to the body and enhances performance. Next up, Rod Taylor regaled us with the many filters he had met and installed in his career in the metallurgical field. Final contestant Margie Skeen recounted the malfunction of the filter between brain and mouth that lands people in hot water.

The Impromptu Contest was won by Rod Taylor with Mary Byrne taking second place.

A great evening enjoyed by guests, visiting Toastmasters and members alike. We thank our visitors who assisted by taking roles as judges and Sergeant-at-Arms.

Our next meeting will be a regular club meeting and takes place on Monday, 10 September. Guests are always welcome to come along and find out more about Toastmasters and the programme we offer.